Tour Bus Hell

Promise yourself:
Never venture onto a tour bus.
Buses aren’t the problem.
People who like them are.
The chatterers memorize facts to spew.
The beer drinkers work to charm the guides.
The short, fat ladies with ratted lacquer hair
will incessantly mother anyone,
and will not shut up,
even when asked,
frequently running to bathrooms
and towards any source of food
as if starved for centuries.
But if you [...]

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